What's that? You came to this page to look for porn? Don't lie — we both know you did. You're such a pervert. Well, that's too bad. This page's purpose is to inform you about those mythical creatures that go muchly unseen in the realm of the Internet. That's right, we're talking about girls. And we're talking about them on the internet. And no, for the last god damned time, we aren't talking about porn, sheesh.
Now, you may think that this article is a lie, just like the cake. But I'll tell you one thing, like the cake, it is not a lie, in fact - it is The Truth. There are no girls on the internet. Seeing as you didn't get the thing about porn the first time, I think it's important to repeat the subject of this paragraph again to get it into your thick skull.
THERE ARE NO GIRLS ON THE INTERNET.
Damn it, put your pants back on. This isn't some erotic story about your brother's first time (your first time, unless you change your attitude, won't happen for a long time).
The Truth Edit
The Truth is that Rule 30 is correct. There are no girls on the internet. Anyone you think is female on the internet is, unfortunately, lying. Do you know what girl actually stands for? Guy In Real Life.